you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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