Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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