Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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