i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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