It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
