I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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