what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
