She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
