I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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