i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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