I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
