you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
