i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
