Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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