I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
