Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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