i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
