I'm really into asian looking animals
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
