the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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