Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We are two peas in an std pod
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
