im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
