Barsexuality is the new black.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
