we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
