I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again