Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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