do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
