I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.