He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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