just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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