I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
