I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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