Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize