Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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