Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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