I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Your cock deserves a montage
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
