quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
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My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
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Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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