i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
