you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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