id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
