Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
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At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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