very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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