if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
