It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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