This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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