I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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