how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
