I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
