My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
