SEEEEXXX PLEASE
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
