One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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