i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
