Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
