no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Randomize
