i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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