I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
