Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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