Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
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He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize